The last of the five yamas is Aparigraha, or non-possessiveness. Aparigraha is defined as non-attachment. Non-attachment to possessions, to relationships, to routines and ways of being. Not hoarding, not clinging to anything or anyone. Fulfilling our needs rather than our wants.
The principle of Aparigraha asks us to take only what we need. To appreciate what we have. To do what we can for those who are in need.
Here’s a story that illustrates the principle of Aparigraha. When I was a child, my mother (or possibly the Easter Bunny) gave me a really nice ceramic mug. It was a simple but beautiful mug -- hand-crafted, tan in color, with a three-dimensional lion’s face on one side. It was “my” mug, and I used it whenever I drank tea or cocoa (provided it wasn’t in the dishwasher).
It managed to survive my childhood, as well as my first two years of college, when I lived in a single dorm room (no roommate). But in my third year of college, I shared a campus apartment with seven other people. At some point that year, my lion mug disappeared. I couldn’t find it, and none of my housemates could account for it. Maybe it got broken, maybe it got lost – but definitely it was gone.
I was upset – sad that my favorite mug was gone, angry that one of my housemates had either lost or broken it, hurt that one of my possessions had been treated so carelessly. But I understood that there was nothing I could do to bring it back. Sure, I could rant and rave, or sulk, or break/lose someone else’s favorite mug, or beat myself up for letting other people use my mug in the first place -- but the outcome would be the same: no more lion mug.
So I just let it go. It was an epiphany for me, because up until that point, my usual modus operandi was to rant or sulk or beat myself up.
Aparigraha asks us to embrace the simple fact that life is all about change. Losing a favorite mug is pretty easy to take when you compare it to losing something far more substantial – a friendship, a job, a loved one. But even in the most extreme circumstances, we can still apply Aparigraha and learn to let go and move on. It takes practice, of course, and it’s not necessarily easy. But the more we “just let go,” the easier it becomes.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Brahmacharya, or Moderation
Another yama is Brahmacharya, or moderation. This is broadly defined as energy management. The ancient yogis caution us to avoid overindulging in anything -- to be moderate in all aspects of our lives.
One traditional definition of Brahmacharya is celibacy or chastity. This ties into the longstanding requirement in various religions that spiritual seekers (priests, monks, nuns, etc.) repress their sexual selves in order to enhance their spiritual lives. But history shows us that this strict practice often backfires. It doesn't really make sense anyway -- inherent in the definition of Brahmacharya is that energies are managed -- not repressed (nor overindulged).
So . . . managing one's energies. What’s that all about? For one, it’s regulating one's consumption. Paying attention to what we eat and how much we eat. What we buy and how much we buy. What we consume (not just stuff, but energy, time, resources) and how much we consume. And finding the middle path – moderation – with regard to this consumption.
It’s all about finding balance. For example, many of us are paying more attention these days to the impact we make on the environment. Maybe we wish we could make significant adjustments – going solar, for example, or driving a hybrid car. But perhaps those types of changes are not in the budget – or just don’t make sense right now (say, because your car is new-ish and works fine).
Applying Brahmacharya to this aspect of our lives could include finding simple ways to change our lifestyles so that we make a more positive impact on the environment – bringing our own shopping bags to the store, using refillable water bottles, turning off the lights at home when they’re not really needed. This way, we are moderating our consumption – making small, positive changes to the way we consume energy and resources. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.
So, what about on the yoga mat? Brahmacharya is applied when we decide how much to push (or not-push) ourselves when we practice. Say you come to class wanting a strong workout – you have lots of energy and want to channel it into strengthening your body and improving your endurance. Applying Brahmacharya, you can push yourself to your edge, going a little deeper and holding the postures a little longer than you normally would, but at the same time you avoid pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion or injury. Again, finding the middle path.
Are there parts of your life where it’s easy to apply moderation? Areas where it is more difficult? Just by being aware of these, it becomes easier to make changes.
One traditional definition of Brahmacharya is celibacy or chastity. This ties into the longstanding requirement in various religions that spiritual seekers (priests, monks, nuns, etc.) repress their sexual selves in order to enhance their spiritual lives. But history shows us that this strict practice often backfires. It doesn't really make sense anyway -- inherent in the definition of Brahmacharya is that energies are managed -- not repressed (nor overindulged).
So . . . managing one's energies. What’s that all about? For one, it’s regulating one's consumption. Paying attention to what we eat and how much we eat. What we buy and how much we buy. What we consume (not just stuff, but energy, time, resources) and how much we consume. And finding the middle path – moderation – with regard to this consumption.
It’s all about finding balance. For example, many of us are paying more attention these days to the impact we make on the environment. Maybe we wish we could make significant adjustments – going solar, for example, or driving a hybrid car. But perhaps those types of changes are not in the budget – or just don’t make sense right now (say, because your car is new-ish and works fine).
Applying Brahmacharya to this aspect of our lives could include finding simple ways to change our lifestyles so that we make a more positive impact on the environment – bringing our own shopping bags to the store, using refillable water bottles, turning off the lights at home when they’re not really needed. This way, we are moderating our consumption – making small, positive changes to the way we consume energy and resources. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.
So, what about on the yoga mat? Brahmacharya is applied when we decide how much to push (or not-push) ourselves when we practice. Say you come to class wanting a strong workout – you have lots of energy and want to channel it into strengthening your body and improving your endurance. Applying Brahmacharya, you can push yourself to your edge, going a little deeper and holding the postures a little longer than you normally would, but at the same time you avoid pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion or injury. Again, finding the middle path.
Are there parts of your life where it’s easy to apply moderation? Areas where it is more difficult? Just by being aware of these, it becomes easier to make changes.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Principle of Asteya, or Non-Stealing
Continuing our discussion of yogic philosophy, we move on to the third yama, Asteya, or non-stealing.
Asteya has many aspects:
• Honoring what belongs to others
• Never desiring to possess by mind or speech, either outwardly or secretly, the wealth of another (this applies to money, possessions, ideas, space, time . . .)
• Not taking anything (neither valuable nor trifling) that belongs to another
• Not coveting; not being jealous
• Proper time management (not stealing from one aspect of your life to satisfy another)
• Keeping appointments and commitments
• Cultivating a sense of completeness and self-sufficiency; letting go of cravings.
Okay, then.
I think Asteya is a tough one. Most of us don't steal (as in taking things from stores without paying for them). But who doesn't have moments (or years) where they feel incomplete or not-good-enough? Who doesn't envy others for their better salaries or nicer homes, or constant stream of brilliant ideas? It's hard to be content with what one has and not desire to have more or "other." Still these are things for us to work on: because we cannot be truly happy unless we are content with our lives as they are in the present moment.
I used to be really good at time management. Always on time for appointments, deadlines, and other commitments. But then I had a baby. And much to my horror, I discovered that when another human being figures into your process of getting-out-the-door (or onto the computer, or simply to think straight), it's much harder to be reliable and consistent. Still entirely possible, but a heck of a lot more challenging. So I continue to work on that.
And then there are cravings . . . How can we make ourselves NOT have them? Isn't that impossible? It's one thing not to give in to cravings, but another thing entirely to just not-have them. Here's what I think: the more content you are with your life, the more grateful you are for your current situation, the less you will crave what you don't have . . . be it a brownie, or an ice cream sundae, or a cute new pair of yoga pants that make your butt look good.
The yamas and the niyamas are not goals to be attained once and forever. They are principles that we work on, day in and day out, throughout our lives. With any given one, we will have good days and bad days. It's important to remember that it is an ongoing process, and if we keep these principles in mind, we are likely to be happier in the long run. So as you strive to apply the yamas and niyamas to your life and your yoga practice, remember to keep practicing Ahimsa -- to avoid judging yourself poorly when you don't live up to your own standards. In the words of the indomitable Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day!"
Asteya has many aspects:
• Honoring what belongs to others
• Never desiring to possess by mind or speech, either outwardly or secretly, the wealth of another (this applies to money, possessions, ideas, space, time . . .)
• Not taking anything (neither valuable nor trifling) that belongs to another
• Not coveting; not being jealous
• Proper time management (not stealing from one aspect of your life to satisfy another)
• Keeping appointments and commitments
• Cultivating a sense of completeness and self-sufficiency; letting go of cravings.
Okay, then.
I think Asteya is a tough one. Most of us don't steal (as in taking things from stores without paying for them). But who doesn't have moments (or years) where they feel incomplete or not-good-enough? Who doesn't envy others for their better salaries or nicer homes, or constant stream of brilliant ideas? It's hard to be content with what one has and not desire to have more or "other." Still these are things for us to work on: because we cannot be truly happy unless we are content with our lives as they are in the present moment.
I used to be really good at time management. Always on time for appointments, deadlines, and other commitments. But then I had a baby. And much to my horror, I discovered that when another human being figures into your process of getting-out-the-door (or onto the computer, or simply to think straight), it's much harder to be reliable and consistent. Still entirely possible, but a heck of a lot more challenging. So I continue to work on that.
And then there are cravings . . . How can we make ourselves NOT have them? Isn't that impossible? It's one thing not to give in to cravings, but another thing entirely to just not-have them. Here's what I think: the more content you are with your life, the more grateful you are for your current situation, the less you will crave what you don't have . . . be it a brownie, or an ice cream sundae, or a cute new pair of yoga pants that make your butt look good.
The yamas and the niyamas are not goals to be attained once and forever. They are principles that we work on, day in and day out, throughout our lives. With any given one, we will have good days and bad days. It's important to remember that it is an ongoing process, and if we keep these principles in mind, we are likely to be happier in the long run. So as you strive to apply the yamas and niyamas to your life and your yoga practice, remember to keep practicing Ahimsa -- to avoid judging yourself poorly when you don't live up to your own standards. In the words of the indomitable Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day!"
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
More On Satya
The principle of Satya includes communicating in a loving way, especially while giving criticism. This is not so much about just being truthful, but about being gentle and kind while speaking the truth.
Many times we fall into the trap of being blunt or even rude in the name of truthfulness. We justify it by saying, "I was just being honest!" Which is true. But on the yogic path, kindness and truth go hand in hand. And think about it: wouldn't you rather hear "the truth" in a way that makes you want to listen instead of a way that makes you feel defensive?
This tends to be the most challenging when we're dealing with the people closest to us -- our families. These are the people with whom we censor ourselves the least.
So I'm challenging myself this week to pay attention to how I deliver criticism or air grievances. I'm going to aim to be more compassionate and kind, even when I'm cleaning up pee from the floor (from my three-year-old) or scooping yet another pair of dirty socks from the floor beside my husband's easy chair. We'll see if it makes a difference.
Many times we fall into the trap of being blunt or even rude in the name of truthfulness. We justify it by saying, "I was just being honest!" Which is true. But on the yogic path, kindness and truth go hand in hand. And think about it: wouldn't you rather hear "the truth" in a way that makes you want to listen instead of a way that makes you feel defensive?
This tends to be the most challenging when we're dealing with the people closest to us -- our families. These are the people with whom we censor ourselves the least.
So I'm challenging myself this week to pay attention to how I deliver criticism or air grievances. I'm going to aim to be more compassionate and kind, even when I'm cleaning up pee from the floor (from my three-year-old) or scooping yet another pair of dirty socks from the floor beside my husband's easy chair. We'll see if it makes a difference.
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